Having done my performance and presented at the AHSS Symposium, it occurs to me that all I have left to do is turn in my Summer Research paper. It also occurs to me… I don’t want to be done with this project! (A professor tells me, “Welcome to true academia!”)
I’m left with this feeling probably because I wanted to be have more than a paper after the grant was done–and I did: the experience of a living, breathing piece that I literally embodied. And now I’m having to figure out what to do with my body once the piece been brought to fruition. Perhaps I’ll start with advice from a dear friend’s mother, by exercising my ‘letting go’ muscle.
We have to unclasp our hands to grab on to whatever is next.
And yet I’m left a bit bereft in the wake of the performance that has left me thinking, are we just put on this earth to make beautiful things and let them go? But I think the answer is–at least in part–yes. Yes, indeed. And that’s okay! Welcome to Senior Year!
[Oh, and once that muscle’s worked out I’m sure I’ll need both hands to grasp my English (WRC) thesis–how film affects pas de deux (two-person dance) in the dance film “Smoke” and the modern ballet “Appartement,” both by Swedish choreographer, Mats Ek!]