Navigating my living situation

Things are not always as easy as they first seem, I’ve learned in these past six months.

You see, when I first moved into an off-campus house with a few friends about six months ago, I thought it would smooth sailing and, in all honesty, a lot of good and great times. Let me be absolutely clear before I move on, though: There have been a lot of good and great times living where and with whom I currently do. That fact, however, doesn’t always make it easy to live with housemates and their flaws or them with my own flaws.

This all came to a head in the first few months of living together – months that were fraught with petty fights and the occasional shouting match between housemates. Arguments and shouting that eventually resulted in a physical altercation between two housemates over the summer.

And despite this, somehow, since that night things at the house have been better. Or have, at least, seemed better Some might say civil and relaxed, even. Dare I say it? Things around the house have even been fun.

Perhaps what baffles me most about this newly found civility and jovialness (if that’s even a word), is that (in the face of my most passive aggressive techniques) there was never an apology between the two of them. Ever. I suppose it’s hard for me to understand that because this sort of thing has never really happened to me.

Now, I’ve certainly found myself in situations where I would have liked (and maybe would have found it appropriate) to hit someone else. But those individuals are generally people who I don’t know well, and in those situations I normally dissuade myself from becoming violent if only because I don’t know the person and am probably being rash and jumping to conclusions before getting clarification on what ever it might be that I was frustrated or angry with. Violence, as a whole, is something that I (like many other people) have issues with, also.

But what makes the situation between my housemates different is that they were (and, in fact, still are) one of the other’s best friends. And they are both two of my best friends (I chose to live with them for a reason). And it’s still hard to believe that they have made what seems like a full recovery in their friendship. And I suppose if they are able to mend the ties in their friendship, I have a responsibility as a friend and as a housemate to accept that – and I think I’m beginning to do that.

Here’s hoping this post doesn’t jinx it all.

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