A Few Things about the Puge I am Excited to Show My Best Friend

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My best friend from high school is arriving for a visit tomorrow. Here are just a few of the many many things I can’t wait to show her!

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1) The sunset behind Wyatt Hall, shining through the Chihuly glass sculptures.
2) Foggy morning walks across the South Quad
3) Rain against Oppenheimer’s glass walls
4) My colorful dorm room
5) The colorful dorm rooms of all of my friends
6) My friend Aidan’s fantastic audio set up, and the cool lights he was wired to it
7) Coffee in Diversions
8) The trees. So many trees.
9) Sitting in the bright upstairs room of Wheelock, in one of the little alcoves on the side, where three people fit like a puzzle
10) The cellar on Saturday night, when it’s full and the music is loud.
11) Playing music in the Piano Lounge
12) Norton Clapp Theater
13) Point Defiance Park
14) My classes, where discussions are deeper and more intense than I could have ever imagined possible in high school
15) My club meetings, where students are passionate and engaged about their acvitives, and really want to be there
16) Mt. Rainier if we’re lucky!
17) The way a group of people I didn’t know six months ago now know me and love me and make me laugh so hard it hurts—almost every day.

This is just a sample of the magic of the Puge. Hannah—I am beyond excited to share what life at UPS means. AKA—I love you a billion times over , get on the train so we can have a fabulous time together. See you tomorrow with a big sign and a big smile, my dear!

TGIF

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The transition back to UPS after the break can be a bit jarring, in the sense that flying in the Alps can be a bit bumpy. Over break my main responsibilities were drinking chai tea and reading chick lit, half the time I didn’t even have to get the tea myself. I was sick so my family got it for me. Now I’m back at school, I’m getting my own tea again (though admittedly it’s not that hard to take out a tea bag and fill it with hot water from the SUB). I’m also reading books with sentences like: “America is neither dream nor reality. It is a hyperreality. It is a hyperreality because it is a utopia which has behaved as though it were already achieved.” When I was on break all anyone asked me to deal with was reality, now I have to figure out hyperreality too. The whole thing seems very surreal.

But there are good points to coming back to UPS. The cherry trees are blooming and the SUB is serving Pork Hum Bao. We’re exercising our minds again, by force if necessary. I enjoy learning things and UPS is where I do that. Last semester I learned some Marx, some post-modern literary philosophy, and how to get nail polish stains off a carpet. This year I’m looking forward to learning what Henry Louis Gates wrote in his memoir and how to scuba dive. It involves oxygen and a wetsuit, and that’s pretty much all I know about it.

That being said, it’s a good idea to take some time for yourself. You can watch a movie, take a walk with a friend, or even make plans to become an international fugitive to avoid student loan payments. Take a deep breath and thank God it’s Friday.

Fun fact: I am 112 days away from being a college graduate.

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Well, we’re done with the first week of classes.  I’m not sure what I think about this.  Do I like the relative security of being a college student?  Of course.  Am I looking forward to adventuring off after graduation?  If I weren’t looking forward to it, then I wouldn’t be doing it.  So yes.  Does that mean I can’t wait for the end of the semester?  Not really.  I try to avoid thinking about it.

On that cheerful note, I think I’m going to talk about the unseasonably warm weather we’ve been having lately.  There are bulbs sprouting by the front door of my house, and I’ve spotted a few blossoms outside the library.  Man, they’re going to have a hard time in 112 days if it rains like it did at last year’s graduation.

Okay, take two.  Classes.

I’m taking three upper-division English classes, one of which is an internship with the Gig Harbor History Museum, so there will be a lot of reading and writing this semester.  I’m also rowing, of course, plus one of the quarter-credit EPDM department classes (which I highly recommend, by the way; they’re a fun way to mix up your course load), plus beginning rock climbing.  I’ve been meaning to get into rock climbing for a while, and am really excited that I got into the class in my last semester of college.

Nope, we’re not thinking about that.

What about winter break?  I lounged around for a couple of weeks before volunteering for the internal communications department of the U.S. Geological Survey headquarters in Northern Virginia.  Turns out that that was the place to be, because my supervisor introduced me to all sorts of cool people – the director of a team of three hundred scientists doing coastal research, the chief of the Science Publishing Network, the regional director of the Northwest region, who might have some contacts to help me get a job this summer after I graduate.

Well, so much for not thinking about graduation.  In any case, thinking about it is only serving to help me put off homework, which is sort of a necessary component of getting there.  Plus, I’ll be rowing 2,300 miles with OAR Northwest’s Adventure: Mississippi River expedition this fall, so why should graduation scare me?

I Remember

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I had forgotten what it was like here. Being home for a month had left me distracted by the dog and my best friend and my parents and my little brother’s infectious laugh and my older brother’s eyes twinkling across the dinner table. I had fallen back in love with the Bay Area, and the entire beautiful idea of home.
So I forgot what it was like here.

When I got onto my plane at OAK on Monday, I was tired, and I already missed my mom. My phone was low on battery, and the book I was reading was at a slow, depressing spot. In short, I wasn’t in a great mood. I wasn’t sure I was ready for a second semester. I wasn’t sure I was ready for independence again.

But then.

Then the shuttle pulled up in front of Wheelock, and there, waiting on the sidewalk with grins about to split their faces open, were two of my closest friends here. People who love me. People who laugh with me. People who make me whole. Continue reading →

A Long Way Back

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The flight from Hawaii to Washington is not very long, relative to the distances some of my friends on the east coast or in Asia have to travel, but as short as the five-to-six hour plane ride is, it can seem like a lifetime. Because I can’t sleep on planes, I’m usually bored by the time the plane lands, having exhausted one or two movies, two or three albums, and a fair amount of trips to the lavatory. Though, of course, a part of the reason the trip can seem so long is due to the fact that it is a trip away from home.

For me, the return marks a leave-taking that never seems to get easier. All I’m carrying is a carry-on, but the weight is somehow more. Did we know this when we were high school seniors looking to get away for a change? Maybe. So it goes.

But as sad as leaving one place is, the trip is also a return to another place, a place of learning and friendship, a place that pushes students to grow intellectually and personally. So that when we return home, we’re a little older, a little wiser, and a bit more appreciative of what it means to be back.

As I leave behind the setting sun, whose light illuminates every groove upon the glass window to my left, I know that, to return, we must first away. Flying to Tacoma, I know that no sooner will I have landed than I will be finishing finals and chasing the setting sun to get back home before it’s dark with more reasons to return.

The Long Return

New Semester’s Resolutions

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Last semester was hard.

The gravity of that statement cannot be underscored enough. It was hard in a “life-class-wow-this-is-a-serious-adult-like-issue-that-i-am-now-dealing-with” type way.

But it’s over now. And after four solid weeks of doing nothing except eating food and crying about The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies (it’s not weird at all okay) (you think that I am joking) (I am not), I have returned to school completely rested and with a list of Things That Will Make This Semester More Enjoyable And Less Hard.

1. Actually! Talk! To! My! Professors! I tend to be the sort of person who is convinced that she can handle things on her own. The University of Puget Sound has, however, really awesome faculty that want me to come in and talk about my problems, both directly related to the course and barely related to the course.   So my major goal is to stop being anxious about “bothering them” and actually making use of my professors and the amazing resources that they have.

2. Submit a poem (or poems) to Crosscurrents. Crosscurrents is the literary magazine at our school, and every single time the submissions are open I always manage to find excuse towards why I cannot publish. Which is dumb. I am actually enjoy writing poetry and I am Not Terrible at writing (I mean, I’m writing here), so I should be getting my work out there.

3. Find something every day that makes me happy. The idea of this is to focus more on the good things of life, and to note them as they happen. The bar of happiness is set extremely low: literally, “I had a shower and it felt really good” is an acceptable thing. I just want to be more happy and remind myself that good things are happening all the time; I am just unaware of them.

4. Eat more chocolate. My friends think it cannot be done. I say otherwise. Chocolate is good for the soul.

5. Read more books. I have actually decided to keep a reading journal for 2015, into which I am only allowed to put books that I have not read before. This goal is to a) provide enjoyment because READING IS AWESOME KIDS, b) allow my eyes to rest from the glare of the computer, thus cutting down on headaches, c) make me use the various libraries around Tacoma more, and d) broaden my knowledge base and make me smarter.

I have other, lesser goals, of course: educate myself on every social issue so I can become a decent person, continue exercising, treat myself (my friend and I have actually established a Treat. Yo. Self. Day as a New Year’s Resolution and I heartily recommend it), say yes to more things, wear red lipstick more often, learn how to do the perfect wingtip on my eyeliner, get straight A’s, discover the meaning of my life, get a job. . . .Some are feasible. Some are less easy. But I am setting myself up for success.

Islands in the Stream

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My friend and I woke early one morning, while it was still dark, to climb a mountain. A little early morning exercise to avoid the heat of the daytime and also because she was busy for the rest of the day and I’d wanted to see her before she left. She was a student, of course, home for break. But for all the time we’d had to meet up, this morning, before the sun rose, was the only time we could agree upon. And I said to her, I’m glad we’re doing this, as we looked up at the mountain peak silhouetted against the night. She agreed and then zipped up her jacket because it had started to drizzle, and took a step forward.

We climbed through thickets and under drooping branches, and slipped a couple of times here and there. Each time I slipped she would ask me if I was all right, and I would say I was, and then she would make some joke about how bad I was at hiking, to which I would reply that I hadn’t gone hiking in over six months. I commented that we should have checked the weather report. The rain had come and gone and was coming again. We moved as quickly as we could until we found a ledge, under which we waited for the rain to pass.

We sipped our water and watched as the rain fell in front of us. I asked her how school was. She said it was fine, How is yours? Fine, I said. She asked me about some of the things I’d learned. I told her what books I’d read, which authors had made an impression on me. I asked her if she was ready to be a sophomore. No. Time flies.

The rain stopped, so we put away our bottles and crept out from under the ledge. I almost slipped again, but planted my hand on the ground and caught myself. I removed it, shaking off the gunk. Softened by the rain, the mud held the imprint of my hand. My friend pressed her own hand to the ground, laughing, and we stood and admired the marks we had made.

Come on, she said. We’re almost there.

We hoisted ourselves over the top of a fairly large rock, which was mossy and wet with the dew of early morning, and, straightening, saw a light spread across the ocean. My friend turned and high-fived me with her mud-covered hand. The wind brushed her hair, which floated like a piece of driftwood on the surface of the sea. She smiled and said, I’m going to hate to leave this place.

An Almost Storm

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Walking down the beach, despite the clouds overhead, I watched as my shadow and two others shifted on the sand.

So how does it feel to be back?

It’s really nice. Can’t beat the feeling.

Vacations are much-needed breaks to the school year—although I wasn’t expecting this type of weather in Hawaii.

The weather’s a bit odd.

I nodded. It’s supposed to storm. We chose the right day to go out.

We continued down the beach. We had a mile to go before we reached our destination, a mall with all the restaurants a food-enthusiastic duo could want.

Let’s just try to get there before it comes.

As we walked, I watched the weather. The wind at our sides was picking up and our shadows on the ground were disappearing. A much greater shadow was casting itself on the sand. At one point, I looked up. The sun had vanished. Swirling out of the top of the sky was a massive gray cloud, which descended in increasing thickness on the beach and on the sea. I turned. In the distance, from a point we had come not an hour ago, the cloud had crawled up the sand and was fingering between hotels.

Look at the cloud.

We hurried down the beach. Around us, we watched as swimming children were called out of the water by their parents. Hosts ushered their outside-dining customers inside. The wind detached a twenty-pound umbrella from its table, sending both into the glass side of the restaurant. At this, we ran, keeping our heads low and shielding our eyes from the sand that the wind had stirred. The sea shuddered. I watched in disbelief as a windsurfer toppled in the wind. We ran into a hotel, where lines of people had gathered by the windows to watch the storm.

It never came.

It rained a lot and the wind tested some of the especially dated buildings, but all things considered, nothing was irreparably damaged. There was a moment, however, as we made our way through the crowd, when the uncertainty was real—for a storm on the beachfront is always serious. But the moment passed when the clouds evaporated and the wind died.

That night at dinner, under a wan light, I remarked what a day it had been.

Are you still happy to be back?

I said yes without a doubt.

Later that night under a streetlamp, waiting to be picked up, I watched our shadows on the ground. In a second of silence, I saw my shadow shiver. Then I realized that it was only myself, responding to a cool breeze, or a feeling of relief to have escaped the storm or to finally be home.

NEW you, new me, new everything

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A lot happens at the beginning of the calendar year- organizing taxes, planning our summer holidays, starting our second and usually last semester of that year, and the beginning of the rest of our lives. I’ve been having a lot of these philosophical, big picture , “how is what I’m doing now affecting my future” thoughts and freakouts as this break ends. Am I supposed to know where my life is heading at this point, mid-sophomore year? What if  I don’t know how to make the the big picture happen in little steps?

But then I also had to think, what if my future is right there waiting for me to grasp it and make it happen this semester? If I happen to become lifelong best friends, or make the mistakes I need to that will be my wake-up call? There’s so much unknown out there all I know is there’s no good to dwell in the past, to dredge up the good memories or bad times. There’s only time for this NEW year, this new semester, new activities, new life and new me.