Written by Jenni Chadick, Assistant Director of Residence Life
Students who have worked with me before may have heard me say a time or two “people remember beginnings and endings.” What I mean is how we reflect back on an experience often is colored by the way the experience started, and what we felt about the ending. As we are closing down campus for the summer there are many endings in the air. The ending of the first year of college. Ending living on campus. Ending time as a student staff member. Ending time as a Puget Sound student. Having gone through several beginnings and endings of experiences as a student, mentor, and supervisor, here are a few of my tips for making a memorable and meaningful exit.
Make the time.
Too often we assume that there will be another chance to say goodbye – another campus run in, another coffee to grab, a dinner to eat. And too often we are wrong. When you specifically make the time to say goodbye, you are guaranteed a moment to end on a good note. There may be time for another coffee, a quick hug, or a high-five after commencement. But don’t risk it. If you really value a friendship, a connection, a relationship, then make the time. The older you get, the more and more this will ring true. As much as we may dislike the idea of scheduling time to keep friendships up, this is the reality of life after college. With friends scattered across time zones, states, and life circumstances, making the time gets more complex, but no less important. Start the habit now by “penciling in” one last meet up.
Keep it positive.
This is where the truism “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” is good to remember. If you’ve had a negative experience with a friend, professor, staff member, the last time you see that person is not the time to let them know. If you are going to make the time to say goodbye, then it is appropriate to focus on what you value about that person. What have they have brought to your life, your education, or experience? In any trying circumstance, there are life lessons to be learned. That challenging supervisor? Maybe they’ve taught you patience and perseverance. That annoying roommate with the light on constantly and incessant music? Maybe they’ve taught you more about yourself, and introduced you to that one song you actually DO like. If it’s face to face, in a note or letter, or a Facebook post, a positive sendoff will leave others with a good impression of you. With time, you may find the little annoyances that seemed so important this year fade to funny memories and anecdotes. Which leads to…
Leave the door open.
One of the values of a college education is the network you build. Not just with faculty and staff, but with your peers. You never know when that former classmate or hall mate will be your connection to your dream job. One of the best ways to build your network is to leave a lasting, memorable, positive impression with another person. Leave the door open to a positive future relationship with a note, a letter, a thank-you card, or a meaningful expression of what you value about that person and the relationship you’ve built. Be sure to include your future contact information – phone number, skype name, email, etc. This sends the message that you hope to stay in contact in the future. In this day in age it can be tempting to rely on Facebook to keep in touch, but just remember not everyone prefers to use online technology in this fashion. A personalized “open door” to the future of your relationship can help ensure you stay connected in a meaningful way – if it’s for the summer, while you are abroad, or post-graduation.
It’s really that simple! Saying goodbye isn’t easy for everyone, so take the time to do it right. You won’t regret it.
Saying goodbye to another round of amazing residential leaders!
