From the Archives & Special Collections: I Heard Being A Vampire Really Sucks

archives_nov2HAPPY HALLOWEEN LOGGERS!!! We here at Collins hope you had a fang-tastic holiday!

Now, the Archives & Special Collections is not known for being a spooky place, but perhaps it should be. Little do people know, among the dusty old books and cobwebbed shelves (just kidding, but seriously, we need more visitors) lurks a mystery that has yet to be solved. Deep in the Shelmidine room lies a chest, and not your ordinary chest. This chest is human-sized, extremely heavy, and has yet to be opened. The last time the contents of this monstrous beast saw the light of day remains a complete mystery to all of us, along with how it was sealed so impossibly well, and the weight of it proves it is NOT empty. We here in the Archives & Special Collections have all had a hand in trying to break the seal, but it has proven to be a real pain in the neck. Us librarians are known for being a cautious type, and so we’ve taken the necessary precautions to protect our dear books (and blood) from the potential dangers that lurk within.

That being said, if you’re short on candy this year I am here to supply you with a stash of Halloween treats that are sure to get under your trick-or-treaters’ skin! Tell some of these and you’re guaranteed not to get any boos from your audience! Have a spooktacular Halloween!

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine!

What do you get if you divide a pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!

How do monsters know what the future holds for them?
They read their horror-scopes!

What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks!

Why would a vampire need cold medicine?
For their coffin!

The Archives & Special Collections is open on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 12:00-3:00 p.m. or by appointment.

By Monica Patterson

As always, come by the Archives & Special Collections! Maybe you’ll meet our blood-thirsty friend! I hope to see you goblins hobblin’ this way soon!

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