Jesse Northrup, current senior (class of ’11), Tacoma, WA (for now…)
I’m not sure what is more frightening: having post-grad options or not having them. I know that sounds odd. Why wouldn’t I want to have a choice? But all of a sudden there is so much pressure to make the right one; for me, for my career, and yet no one is actually able to give me convincing advice one way or another. It’s all my decision and my reasoning, which is perfectly fine, but when I as a kid, I always thought being an adult meant having the right answer. Apparently being an adult means playing the “wait and see” game.
I started putting logs in the fire last semester, as I decided I’d rather have too many choices than none at all. It was filled with GRE preparation, personal statement writing, and overall anxiety. The application process is one that brings about so much hope, worry, excitement, and self-doubt. I hate to say it, but I don’t think any of us will ever get over this. Despite that, applications went out religious ethics programs, which as a religion and psychology double major, is a wonderful combination of the two. While I sat and waited, I decided to look for internships and other options than graduate school. If I’m going to take time away from school, it needs to be productive right?
So I applied for a paid research assistantship with The Hasting Center in Garrison, New York. It’s a bioethical research firm and would give me the opportunity for an exponential amount of exposure to experts and topics within the field. It’s a two year position and I think it appeals to me because I would be able to really bunker down and discover my ethical passions, to make sure that this is the area I want to spend my academic life in. Religious ethics basically leads to PhD work and then teaching (there are exceptions), so I need to be prepared and excited for what that entails. I’m waiting to hear back on this particular position and incessantly check my e-mail. You know; that game again.
When March rolled around, decisions from schools came flooding in. Needless to say, it was dramatic and I felt like a nervous wreck. My top choice is with a Masters program at Florida State University. They have fantastic faculty with a broad range of specialties: bioethics, just-war theory, comparative religious ethics, gender issues etc. Over spring break FSU paid to fly me down so I could explore the department first hand. Everyone was friendly, helpful, and it just felt right to me, despite being in Tallahassee. Going from moderate Minnesota, to liberal Washington, to generally conservative Florida pan-handle seems a bit difficult to me. We’ll see. As a newly developed program at a large research institution, FSU is able to provide a strong springboard for my career, both in terms of connections and skills. Part of my financial aid includes a teaching assistantship in which I’d TA for the first year, but help design a syllabus and teach a course for the second. It sounds amazing and I know I’d benefit, especially since actual teaching isn’t usually offered until you’re a doctorate student.
So it goes one step at a time (though all I want to do is leap). I can’t accept FSU’s offer until I hear from the The Hastings Center. Do I know which position I’d rather take? Not in the least. If I were given the wonderful problem of having both options, I’m afraid the decision would be a big to-do. But either way, I won’t complain. Senior year turned into one big waiting game and in the words of my father, “get used to it.”