I’ve never really had much change in my life. My family has lived in the same house since I was four, and I’ve had the same close group of friends in my hometown since middle school. Even after getting to college, I pretty quickly got into a routine of classes, activities, work, and friends, and none of those things have changed very much in my time here. Even my friend groups haven’t changed that much.
And personally I’m fine with all this. I thrive with routine. And I can deal decently with change… but it usually entails some amount of stress and insomnia and existential crises about my life. Which is why the first few weeks of this summer have been so completely and utterly terrifying.
This has been my first time staying in Tacoma during the summer; I usually go home to soak up time with my family, but now I’m taking a summer class so I can graduate a little early and save some money. And since the moment I made the decision to graduate early, all of the change and stress and terrifying notions of THE FUTURE have been crashing down on me nonstop.
It’s hard to believe that less than three weeks ago, I was still wrapping up finals for my general workload of four classes, still singing with my choir, still working my campus job in the sub, still spending most of my waking life with my best friends. Most of my friends have now scampered off to their various corners of the country, and many of them have graduated, transferred, or will be studying abroad next semester… while I am left here, trying to deal with all the changes:
- Wrestling with the fact that most of my best friends are gone and won’t be around next semester,
- Starting two new jobs (one with campus facilities and another petsitting for three adorable corgis),
- Starting a new psych class, which involves fun things like looking at real human brains,
- Moving out of the house I’ve lived in for the past two years (jeez, has it been that long?) and moving in to a shiny new apartment with my roommate,
- and oh yeah, preparing to study abroad in July. There’s that.
I have to say, moving has been a really weird process. For one thing, while packing up my room I’ve discovered that apparently I like to buy packs of gum, chew half the gum inside, then forget the rest, buy another pack, and repeat the process. This is something I didn’t know about myself, but it does seem like something I would do.
For another thing, though… Living in the same house as always but not going about my usual lifestyle (class, choir, work, friends), it’s been weird. I think I’m pretty much ready to move out, so I won’t be in this weird in-between place anymore, but it’s terrifying at the same time. My lease ends tomorrow, and I’ll be sort of officially entering my new life as a UPS senior. THE FUTURE is here. And it’s probably looking pretty bright, but I can’t really tell, I’m too busy freaking out and walking dogs.
Hope to see more blog posts here over the summer!